Living With Preggies

   I think the hardest time for me was when my sister-in-law and my brothers girlfriend were pregnant at the same time.  We have a unique living situation.  My whole family went in as partners on this property that we are splitting the land.  Eventually we'll be able to sell off the parcels and split the profits and move on to our own places.  But we've run into several bumps along the way and with the housing market the way it is right now it's just another bump that is causing this whole process to take longer than it was supposed to.   Anyways so we all live together so I've had the two other girls in the family both pregnant.  I've had pregnancy shoved in my face every day.  I don't know why God allows some things to happen and I will be sure to ask Him when I get up to Heaven.    Sometimes I feel so broken and I've tried to not look at their pregnant bellies.  You know when you're trying to conceive whenever any of your friends or family gets pregnant they always say "oh you'll get pregnant soon and we can be pregnant together!".    You don't know how many times that I've thought that and they're pregnancy goes by and then they deliver and alas I'm still not pregnant.   The same thing goes here.  My sister-in-law had her baby and my brother's girlfriend is due in a few weeks and guess what??  I'm NOT pregnant.  Big surprise right?   I try to look at the positive things of my life.  Atleast I don't have to deal with screaming babies or get pooped and pee'd on.   I can sit here on the computer with no interruptions.    I tell myself all those positive things but I know that deep down I want the pregnant belly, I want the crying baby that I can comfort, I want the life of a mom.